surprising

I am surprising myself with my crazy thoughts lately. Nothing tragic or scary, just surprising.

I love my kids. I love being a mom. Not a day goes by where I don't thank the good Lord for the ability to stay home with them.
BUT...
not a day goes by where I don't think good Lord what am I doing at home with them???!!!!

I am actually thinking maybe 3 kids is not the choice for me. Which is something I never considered.
I am actually thinking that maybe it wouldn't be awful to go to work one or two mornings or afternoons a week.
I am actually thinking what the heck am I doing. Am I really the best parent I can be?

(I'll change my mind in half an hour, don't worry.)

Doubt. It's a powerful thing. Gotta be careful.